Audrey

Oh Audrey, I love you so much!  You were my first little girl and I have tried to do right by you!  I know I expected too much of you when you were young because you were just so brilliant and verbal that I forgot you were a little girl.  You described it best once when you said,

"With me you were like 'No! No! No'"  (Mimes index finger going back with a stern face) and

with Olivia you were like "Uh! Uh! Uh!" (Mimes index finger side to side with a smiling face) and

with Claire you're like "HA! HA! HA!"

And you weren't far off...ever wonder why Claire can be so naughty?  Perhaps because I find antics comical now instead of disciplining them?  ;-)

But you were my first and we had so much fun!  We did so many things in Camp Pendleton!  One of my favorite memories of those years is when we would get on the Coaster (the train) and go down to Solana Beach. We would leave around 10:00 or so and stay for hours down there!  We would make a goal to go in however many shops....usually in the teens!  You were such a fun, fun person to shop with and you still are!  You were very well behaved and would stay right beside me and I would tell you "Just point" and you would.  Then we would go eat at Pizza Port and I was always so proud that I just could order a regular pizza with everything on it and you would just pick off the green peppers or whatever you didn't like....I didn't need to order you plain cheese or just pepperoni.  Then we would go to the beach and play for an hour and then maybe shop some more and then catch the Coaster back around 4:00.  My friends who had more than one kid, which were all of them, could never do anything like that with their crew.  I loved doing stuff like that with you!!!

My best friend from Charlottesville, Miss Amy, Claire's Fairy Godmother, told me a story once that I try to remember every day.  She was taking her daughter, Rachel, to preschool one day.  Can't remember if she was three of four.  And Rae was being a pill.  Not wanting to go in or something.  And Amy (who is one of the VERY BEST Moms I have had the good fortune of being around and have learned SO MUCH from her and am SUCH a better Mom because of her....all of my children should be grateful for the example she set for me and lessons taught to me by Miss Amy) said, "She's acting like such a baby!" and the teacher gently said, "Amy, she still IS a baby."  And Amy said that just shook her.  A year later she would look at pictures of Rachel at that time and see how little she was and how she was just a baby....and Amy would say, "I know next year, I'll look at pictures of Rae from this year and just marvel over how young and little she was and I want to make sure I'm just expecting what I should from her and I need to remember....she's so young."

I look at pictures of you from years past and think of our arguments and absolutely cringe.  You were so little and you're still so little, but look at these pictures!  You have always been so beautiful, but you are growing up so much and becoming a young woman.  I want to be there to help you navigate the crazy emotions of growing up and help you to learn responsibility and grow up, but always remember....you're just 11.  Or next year, 12.  And then 13?  Oh dear.  You're almost a teenager!  I only have seven years left with you before you go to college!  Seven years?!?!?!?!?  That isn't nearly enough time to love you up as much as I love you.  But I'm going to try every day, okay?

This first picture is the one I'm going to keep in my mind.  Because you're so incredibly beautiful, but yet you look so young and innocent.  

The rest are beautiful too, my sweet girl!

I love you Audrey!!!!!!