Please oh please crawl just one last time

Yesterday, watching Gigi crawl somewhere, I thought to myself...."Gigi's not going to be a full-time walker when she's 15 months like the others. HOORAY!"

Today, the eve of the 15 month birthday, I sadly followed her around the house, hoping for her to crawl "Just one more time!"

We came home from a few hours out and noticed her toddling, not crawling, everywhere. I got nervous and sat on the floor and watched her go back and forth and back and forth, pivoting to come back and then going forth and my heart started breaking, bit by bit.

When Mick and I did the premarital counseling with the Catholic priest, we took some compatability test and I remember only one question and answer. "How many children do you want to have?" We looked at each others answers and felt so smug when we saw that the other had the fabulous number FOUR written down.

Your first one, you're excited for the next stage....although I'll never forget the moment when I realized that Audrey had grown longer and that was the reason her little piggies were poking out of the layette sack. I was in the glider with her reading her a board book and I cried.

But I always knew (or at least hoped) there would be another. And another. And another. But Gigi was lucky number four. This is it. She is it! And I've tried to concentrate. So I can remember. I look and look and look and look while I rock her. And turn around at red lights and make funny faces. I truly enjoy every diaper. Oh the diapers! That's a whole other post! Oh how I love the diapers! And baths in the sink. Her first Cheeto. Her first baby ice cream cone. Quickly followed by her second. And every outfit. She wears clothes to the high water point because I can't bear to move up a size. And all of these years of thinking "I can't wait to be out of the hand-me-downs" has me sending not so cute clothes along with the super cute embroidered ones for my Mom and Dad to keep in the basement until we have the space. And I think to myself, "Really? You can't part with these balled pajamas from Carters?" and I answer myself, "That slogan....'If they could just stay little until they outgrow their Carters' or whatever it is....these balled pajamas were the ones that I found in the Hilton Head outlet store when Audrey was 9 months and were the bigger version of the 3 month pajamas that I cried about (after the layette tearfest) and yes. I need to keep these balled pajamas."

So this evening, I take Gigi over to the stairs and think, she'll crawl up those and then remain on her hands and knees when she gets to the top.....and....she tries to WALK up the first step! I think, "I'm doomed. I'll never see one of my babies crawl again." I position her on her hands and knees and she makes her way up to the stairs and stands up. She toddles, I crawl into my bedroom and I think, "how, how, how" can I get her to crawl? I spot a tennis ball in our bathroom and throw it. I hold my breath and she takes off on a fast pace crawl! I watch, I cherish, I memorize and I thank her for this one last baby gift.

I have a toddler now. And I will try and cherish every moment. But I know it's impossible. So I just am grateful for tonight. I had one last look at my baby crawling.