This past weekend was one of those seminal events you hope your kids remember as much as you did. Brother-in-law Curt and his family proposed the idea a while ago and Sue found some Groupon deals so it was off to the Elizabethan mayhem that is the Tampa Renaissance Fair. I must admit first off that I have consulted numerous historical texts such as the Book of Google and Wikipedia, the novel , to check my facts as my C- history GPA was clearly challenged by the historical, nay hysterical characters we saw throughout the day.Most historians place the actual European Renaissance between the 14th and 17th centuries with the Shakespearean era clearly the high water mark. Our fair(e) was similar in its British Isles centric view. Also in the mix was the never ending Tampa fascination with the Pirate. It was pirate weekend at the fair so those not as inclined to dress as jesters or snow queens,
recycled their Tampa Bay Buccaneer/Halloween/Gasparilla costumes and came into the woods of North central Tampa to party. I’ll admit I was a bit suspect of said named pirates, with their ply and trade outlawed by the international community of nations as jus cogens since the 19th century but historically the case can surely be made that Sir Francis Drake and his like were licensed by the crown in the 16th century to raid Spanish new world trade at will and did so. Those pirates dressed as Drake’s crew are hereby validated as periodically proper at Renfair. Those however dressing as Lafitte, Morgan, the Beards, and the U.S. Marine Corps fighting, notorious, Barbary Pirates of North Africa, were later in time and clearly ruined any chance of teaching my daughters anything proper about history. Stay in school kids.
If the pirate issue was it, I could reasonably have shaken that off, however with any true RenFair, remember this was our first one, you clearly have to have some additional folks who really, really…really like to dress up. Included in this cast are literally the casts of Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, any dragon movie not in 
animation, Robin Hood, Shakespeare in Love, Braveheart (minus the catapults) and of course Star Wars. I must admit the two best costumes however were this guy, from a galaxy far, far away in the past and the Black Knight from MP and the Holy Grail who I regrettably missed a photo shoot, his costume was SPOT ON! As a curious sort one can only wonder where the RenFair folks work during the week and how those conversations must be at the ol water cooler on Monday.
You : “Hey Steve, how was the weekend?"
Steve: “My Lord, was it ever an enchanting time, I quaffed mead and downed mutton until I could have no more, My lady was voluptuous and was given the honor of the joust’s wave, a glorious time was had by noble and commoner all”
You: “Uh wow, you didn’t pick Butler either huh?, talk to you later.”
You can clearly see that Steve knows how to party. The mead, a.k.a. Corona, Bud/Bud light, and others was clearly flowing but the one thing Sue wouldn’t let me get was a wooden ale tankard. So we will head to Japan with $ 15 more in our pockets but alas no craftsman’s hewed wooden goblets of glee. Audrey did get some Elf ears though and Olivia purchased some spectacular earrings.
There were many carny games that rip you off just like the State Fair/Church Festival/Strawberry Fest carnies that rule Hillsborough County, but at least these carnies faked an accent and gave you a sticker or set of beads when you failed at your quest. 
There appears to be a fine line between Ren Fair aficionados and those folks who appreciate the darker arts or darker social scenes. I don’t want to besmirch the whole crowd but one can definitely see how a Ren Fair after hours party could get pretty freaky after the kids go home. Not a bad thing, actually more of a potential marketing ploy to college age kids to look for fun outside the usual bar scenes in their towns. In closing I would absolutely recommend taking the family to one of these fairs for a day. Couple things you might want to fit in better than we did.
1. A1. Walking stick, the place wasn’t that big but it appeared to be a must.
2. A2. Furry tail, yes most “hipster” Renfair folk seem to wear a raccoon/furry animal tail. The blogs don’t have a good answer pro or con on the subject.
3. Tattoo’s. If you got em’ show them off, if not try the henna ones for starters.
4. Huge Breasts that look even bigger in Bodices, once again, if you’ve got em….
5. Elf ears/ fairy wings/ Merlinesque hats. The purists will scoff and call you RenFair names like Danes..as in mundanes (I guess in RenFair talk that is really biting) but I realize most of you don’t have leather and felt tie up boots/hats/clothes and striped pants so this may be the only thing the kids can dress up with.
6. Any cup with a handle, there were many Renfair folk who had regular tankards/mugs but they must have handles. If you want to have a rope or string to tie them to your belt loops even better, they can match your tail.
7. We did bring a camera, it is a MUST! We tried to ask most Renfolk politely, hence we didn’t want to be making fun of them but most, if not all, gladly pose, they were real good sports.
8. Cash, it’s just like the county fair, minus the confederate flags, mostly. But you need some bling to play the games and buy the drinks.
9. Don’t wear that belly dancer outfit, unless you can pull it off.
We really did enjoy this thing. We’d love to hear your stories next. Love the Wagoner 6.
Good Day Kind Sirs and Madams
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3 comments:
I feel like I learned something after reading this post, so thanks Mick :) Sounds like you all had a good time!
Was that Imperial Stormtrooper wearing white Keds? MB
A most entertaining post, kind sir. I laughed out loud at several points, especially Sue's refusal of your request to buy a wooden tankard ("no craftsman’s hewed wooden goblets of glee") and the items one needs to take along for Ren Fair cred. God help me if I ever refer back to this list out of necessity.
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